Dating 9 to 5

These days, finding the right partner has become a full-time job, but there’s one question that remains:

Where are the benefits?

You meet someone, exchange text conversations, and engage in a couple of phone calls. Everything seems cool, so you decide to move things forward and go on a date. Each of you suggests potential date ideas for a solid 15 minutes before finally deciding on a location and a time that works around both of your schedules. On the day of your date, you go to work, squeeze in a workout, and still manage to be right on time at 7PM – looking and smelling great. Confidently, you step out of your car praying everything goes well.

Long story short, the date ends and you feel drained. On the ride home you lament over wasted time by replaying the date, the texts, and the conversations since you both met. Yet again a different candidate, typical place, followed by the same old exhaustion. Finally, you twist the doorknob, kick off your shoes, and melt onto the sofa with a sigh and begin flipping through the channels.

After putting in all this work and exerting all this energy, where is the check?

Dating can unfortunately seem like interviewing with the possibility of an internship, which has an end date. All too often, you do not end up the employee, possibly excluded from benefits, not granted holiday pay nor 401K.

Where are the job listings? Should you even continue applying? Where’s the offer letter? Before you quit the search altogether, remember to recognize dating fatigue and prevent the burnout.

Avoid “Dating Burnout” by:

  1. Energy Conservation. Reduce number of dates.
  1. Be selective. Quality > Quantity.
  1. No expectations. Bring none.

Dating should be an enjoyable experience for all parties involved. It’s a time that memories can be created with the person you may possibly end up being with long term. Yes, the stakes are high, but be sure to keep things light at first. Building a foundation for a solid relationship starts with those first few interviews. Relax and be confident. You’ll be just fine!

3 thoughts on “Dating 9 to 5

  1. Ashlee Hope

    Great article! And I totally agree! Although I believe at a certain point in life, you should “Date with a Purpose”, I don’t think that purpose should be to find a husband. Dating should be fun! Keep the expectations light in the beginning and focus on networking, meeting new people, and building relationships. Anything that progresses from there is a bonus!

  2. Ivelisse

    Great pointers in this article and relatable! Definitely don’t go with expectations and know when to discontinue your efforts when it seems like trying too hard when it should be a walk in the park. Unfortunately not sure if I’m the only one feeling this way; but before you even get to schedule a date, men don’t liked being asked basic questions?! Not sure what they expect when you initially start a conversation SMH…

  3. Randi

    I also think the article was great! I do believe that people need different things at different stages in life. I do date with a purpose. It’s important for me to know what that person is looking for in life. I will definitely dismiss a person if we are looking for different things in life. If I’m getting on a ride I’d like to know its going somewhere. My thoughts.

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