This year, I purchased my first Christmas tree and decorated it from top to bottom. Even bought fancy wrapping paper to set the mood I wanted. Unfortunately, all the neatly wrapped boxes were just that, empty boxes I got from a Safeway overnight stocker as he was about to discard them. I only planned on getting greens, beans, potatoes, tomatoes, lamb; You Name It. I’m lying, but it was going to be nice, and a pretty simple spread that would get me in the holiday spirit since I’m in Washington, D.C. and my family is in Louisiana. I wanted this Christmas to be different. Being an adult, I wanted to manifest the excitement my brothers felt when they opened their gifts for their first time. As I headed to check out, I burst into song in aisle 8,
It’s something about listening to Boys to Men, “Let it Snow,” and looking outside and seeing snowfall as you lay curled up with someone you love. Not that temporary love provided by cuffing season, but a REAL love who mutually desires to recreate special moments with you not just on holidays, but every day for the rest of your life. A permanent mistletoe which hangs above your relationship which generates not only physical love but engulfs your entire mind. Seeing the result of this love as your children hop into your bed as they wake you both up as the excitement of Christmas morning wakes them before the sun can rise.
Unfortunately, things didn’t go according to how I envisioned them. I wasn’t laid up with anyone, I don’t have any children to jump into my bed, and there was no snowfall. Instead of making that spread I envisioned, I made smoothies with the blender I received this Christmas. I turned the Christmas lights off and started breaking it down to get rid of it. I was about over with Christmas before it was even noon. I turned off the Christmas carols and replaced it with Migos. For the most wonderful time of the year, it felt like just another off day. The only positive thing that came out of December 25, 2016, was me finally having time to binge watch Queen Sugar and someone I had fallen in love with gave birth to her first child which happens to be another man’s baby!
Sometimes I wish my stepdad would have let me believe in Santa Claus. If I just possessed the mindset my little brothers had when they were kids. That if I did my homework, was polite to others, and didn’t give my mother hell that I would get everything I wanted. That somehow I would wake up one morning, and it would be all laid out for me neatly wrapped in fancy, colorful paper and placed beneath a tree just for me.
However, that’s not reality. The truth is, life will provide you with gifts, but no matter how good you are, life won’t just provide you with only the gifts you want. It comes with other gifts that may not generate smiles or tears of/from joy. You know, the ones that make you feel that you aren’t good enough, small enough, or even faithful enough. Some will downright break down every component of your mind, body, and soul. Each gift I have ever possessed has come for a reason and a purpose. Whether it was to build my character, wisdom, or even help me learn how to forgive to love again. We should all strive for perfection, but the reality is only Jesus is without flaws or sin.
As 2016 comes to its conclusion, I’m very optimistic about 2017. It’s time that we begin to prep not only our minds but also our hearts. We can all create a bit more space by doing everything we can to take more of an active role in first loving ourselves. By doing this, it will help prepare you to give and also receive it from those who desire to give it to you. It’s time to stop blaming others for your issues or circumstances and take ownership of the things you have control over.
I recently spoke to Paul, and I asked him did he have any New Year’s Resolutions. What he revealed to me came as a big surprise. It made me think and reassess my personal goals and the direction I want to go in my life. I’m getting to the point where I am starting not to care what people think about me, and it’s pretty damn scary. I realized that the time has come for me to remove my self-imposed limitations and become the man I was created to be. I have a plan and know exactly what I need to do to get there. I will tell you all about it, but I think I have spoken enough about me. I want to know about you! How was your Christmas? Do you have a New Year’s Resolution or some changes you would like to make in 2017?
I look forward to hearing back from you.